Too Dark?: An Analysis of Colorism in the African American Community
The Cruelty of Colorism
Questions
What Is Colorism?
What Is the Impact That Colorism Has on African American Growth?
How Does Colorism Affect African American Youth?
How Can We Combat Colorism?
What Is Colorism To Alaska Green?
Abstract
Colorism in the African American community is a skin tone issue and a form of color disassociation where African Americans categorize themselves by shades from light to dark, and these particular shades range from successfully light-skinned to unfortunately dark-skinned. This skin-tone issue in the African American community called for skin-tone trauma, internalized racism, and forms of skin-tone preference towards the media and cosmetics, particularly for African American women. Ultimately, it takes representation, education, and confrontation in order to combat this skin-color issue that exists today in the African American community.
What is colorism?
Informative Speech
Introduction:
In this world, nothing is sweeter than fair skin, nothing is more advantageous than fair skin, nothing is more seemingly right but bitterly wrong than fair skin (epistrophe). Imagine you’re a child playing in a sandbox. The sky is a gentle blue and the sun’s heat is present but softened by the cotton-candy clouds (alliteration) in the sky. Life is good, and simple, and serene (tricolon) when we’re young, no (anecdote)? I bet you were never concerned with the color of your skin when you were an idle-minded child playing about in a sandbox.
Body:
Let me ask you a question. What is colorism? (pause then continue) Colorism is a tendency for a group or a community or people, primarily all of the same race, to prefer a lighter skin complexion over a darker one. AR Brianigan and others posited that colorism is the suggestion that someone’s skin color should matter constantly within a race and determines some form of hierarchy among the various shades of minorities (Branigan et al). In all, colorism is a detrimental concept that branches from deeply-rooted and euro-influenced racism. Colorism occurs in many minority groups, but I am specifically looking at the African American community.
The conniving and cruel colorism (alliteration) that exists in this world has a past. Nitika Gupta first addresses a method of masking one’s complexion through skin lightening; then following, shares the history of skin lightening. Gupta states that in “4,000 BC, in ancient Egypt. At the height of slave trading in North Africa, slave owners used bleaching to lighten enslaved peoples' skin after extended sun exposure” (Gupta 11). Unfortunately in this day and age (pair), skin lightening is justifiable if it means ensuring the betterment of one’s success and perceived poise and intelligence (pair).
Colorism not only has a past, but colorism affects the African American people of the future-- (apposition) the boys whose safety plummets in the presence of the police force, and the girls who look up to unrealistic and superficial role models with “dainty” and “desirable” (alliteration/pair) features on social media. For the African American men who face police questioning or prosecution, Branigan argues that “having a skin color that allows one to be perceived as potentially same-race relative to an arresting officer could convey advantage regardless of any other visible physical signs of race” (Branigan et al). For African American women, Gupta asserts that “throughout mass media; more music videos and cosmetic advertisements feature white women than women of color. Meanwhile, celebrities like Blac Chyna and Azealia Banks tout (sell) skin lighteners, pressuring women to question the skin they're in” (Gupta 11).
Conclusion:
The world is its own sandbox. However, some of us unlucky ones are no longer children that get to leisurely play in it. Life is no longer all good, and all simple, and all serene (tricolon/anaphora) when the difference between success and failure is determined by the absence or presence of pigmentation in the skin. Our skin should not be our advantage, but our curse should not be our skin (epanalepsis). After all, Malcolm X was the one who asked during an extremely powerful speech, “who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin to such an extent that you bleach to get like the white man? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips?… you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God gave you” (Matthews and Johnson). Life is too short to live a life that someone else designs for you.
Annotated Bibliography
Branigan AR, Wildeman C, Freese J, Kiefe CI.”Complicating Colorism: Race, Skin Color, and the Likelihood of
Arrest. Socius.” January. 2017. Accessed 10 September 2020.
This source talks about how skin tone is a consistent determinator of life success; whether that success be economic, social or educational. This source introduces statistical studies conducted in order to draw a connection between skin complexion and law enforcement. The overall take away was that the darker the complexion, the more likely you are to face unjust prosecution, unfair job opportunities and.
Gupta, Nitika. "Rx for Change: Skin Lightening." Women's Health Activist, vol. 45, no. 2, Mar.-Apr. 2020, p. 14+.
Accessed 8 Sept. 2020.
This source introduces the method of skin lightening. Skin lightening is a method people of a darker complexion use in order to achieve a lighter skin appearance. This source establishes colorism as the culprit for fueling this beauty industry. This helps to gain an understanding of how colorism effects beauty standards and appearances among the African American community.
Mathews, Tayler J., and Glenn S. Johnson. “Skin Complexion in the Twenty-First Century: The
Impact of Colorism on African American Women.” Race, Gender & Class, vol. 22, no. 1-2, 2015,
pp. 248–274. JSTOR. Accessed 10 Sept. 2020.
This source focuses on African American women that endure colorism. What this source achieved at doing was presenting a particular population among the black community (the women) and assessed how they are impacted. According to Matthews et al, race isn’t as detrimental as skin tone is to women when it comes down to job opportunities, intimate relationships and respect.
McKanic, Arlene. "Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America." Black Issues
Book Review, vol. 3, no. 4, July 2001, p. 54. Accessed 8 Sept. 2020.
This source provides brief but useful information on black hair in America. The source poses the argument that African culture lies in hair styles or maintenance, but that culture is oppressed and reformed to appeal to eurocentric beauty standards.
Tharps, Lori L. “The Difference Between Racism and
Colorism.” Time.com, 6 Oct. 2016. Accessed 10 September. 2020.
This source clears the air. Initially, at first glance colorism seems like the equal to racism; however, that assumption is not completely true. This source solidifies the difference between racism which is the hateful sentiment shared between one race and another, and colorism which is in most cases taking place inside of an ethnic group based on a preference for a lighter pigment of skin.
"What Is Colorism?" Choices/Current Health, vol. 35, no. 3, Nov. 2019, p. 24. Accessed 8 Sept. 2020.
This source simply gives an overview and definition of colorism in its full entirety. This helps to educate myself and any other readers of what colorism is since it had not been officially introduced as a word in our language and dictionary.
What Is The Impact That Colorism Has On African American Growth
Persuasive Essay
It always comes and goes. That feeling of being dealt bad cards. That sense of being out of place in an underrepresented room. That restrictive, racist, and rambunctious societal construct of basing success and acceptance on a quasi-scientific fact. That very fact fosters an oppressive form of thought among minority groups.
Then you grow up, and you ask yourself. Should I straighten my hair? Have I been in the sun for too long? Should I speak with a multifaceted vocabulary and exhibit proper etiquette? I can't wear hoodies in the store, can I? Should I invest in a skin-bleach cream? Then you question even further. Why are their eyes a crisp ocean blue, and mine, brown as the earth's rich dirt? If only someone like Malcolm X were there to ask you, "Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet?" (Matthews and Johnson).
Discrimination, preferential treatment, and bias are all mixtures for the perfect cocktail of colorism, and racism is the olive dipped in the center of it all. As A. Yoni Jeffries asserts, "colorism within the African American community is defined as the attitude among African Americans discriminating against other African Americans because of their skin complexion – for instance, being too light or too dark" (Jeffries). Jeffries continues by explaining how racial discrimination, colorism, dates back to slavery and has been systematically passed through various cultural elements. Take African American women, for example; there are implications in the African American community that suggest that lighter skin and straighter hair would better fit the society's standard- a culture built on a foundation of Eurocentric ideals. Fair skin, blue eyes, and straight golden hair all serve as some archetype of the ideal American, and it is this same idea that has fueled and continues to fuel colorism today. In short, African Americans today tend to prefer lighter complexions over darker ones, disregarding the descent from the same race. The idea of racial hierarchy trickles into the young minds of African Americans.
This racial hierarchy appeared in Delores Phillips's book, The Darkest Child. In brief, the book centers around a thirteen-year-old girl, Tangy Mae Quinn, who is the sixth of ten fatherless siblings. Her character's significance is that she is the darkest-skinned among her siblings; therefore, the ugliest in her mother, Rozelle's eyes. On quote from the novel that stood out was:
What set him apart from the others was his light complexion and the sandy-brown color of his hair. He looked like, and was often mistaken for, a white man, although everybody in Pakersfield knew he was Negro. Probably the only person who did not know he was colored was our mother. She took pleasure in categorizing her children by race. Mushy, Harvey, Sam, and Martha Jean were her white children. Tarabelle, Wallace, and Laura were Indians - Cherokee, no less. Edna and I were Negroes (Philips 16).
In this scene, colorism is evident in African American society. In an African American household, there is a categorization of children by the shade of their skin. This is relevant because it addresses the African American community's issue today, which is predominantly the fact African American parents project colorism onto their children in which their children then internalize.
This internalization of colorism exists in both the doll test and the brown paper bag test conducted on African American children by social scientists. Kids, primarily in the African American community, learn at a young age that it is unfortunate to be of darker pigmentation. The doll test was first conducted in the 1940s and has been continuously replicated throughout the years to test the reactions of African American children surveyed in random samples. According to Yoni Jefferies, "Dr. Kenneth Clark and Dr. Mamie Clark gave African American children two dolls: white and painted black. The children were asked questions like: "Which one is the ugly doll?", "Which one has a nicer color?", "Which one is the bad doll?" What was intriguingly sad was the fact that the study revealed that out of all of the African American children surveyed, a large majority of them preferred the white baby doll to the black baby doll. The study's researchers further assessed that the white baby doll tied to "positive attributes like 'smart' or 'pretty,' where the black baby doll was associated with negative attributes. Furthermore, the study proved that white or lighter skin individuals are linked more to 'beautiful, good, positive, etc.' In addition, "the replication of these studies also provided the notion that these damaging associations are not a thing of the past" (Jeffries). Secondarily, in the early 1900s, there was another experiment within the African American community called the brown paper bag test. Jefferies posited that "this discriminatory act required that an individual's skin color was the same color or lighter than a brown paper bag for that person to receive privileges." Fraternities and sororities used the brown paper bag test as a symbol of admittance. Marita Golden, author of Don't Play in the Sun: One Woman's Journey Through the Color Complex, says, "The paper bag would be held against your skin. And if you were darker than the paper bag, you weren't admitted." This test was ubiquitous in fraternities and sororities at the HBCU Howard University, schools are known for African American representation (Jeffries). This exhibition of colorism in these two studies establishes how colorism exists both among both African American toddlers and young adults of the community.
Not only toddlers and young adults but the African American people, as a whole, grow up with a sense of normality in creating racial classes based on skin tone; hence, affecting their overall way of life. Skin color correlates with race in various contexts, such as wages, education, and the marriage market. As Tayler J. Mathews and Glenn S. Johnson stated, "there exists an arrangement of skin tones with varying degrees from light to dark; some shades are considered more acceptable than others. Historical research indicates African Americans with lighter skin tones have fewer societal barriers not only in white America, or interracially, but also among African Americans themselves" (Matthews and Johnson). All in all, since there is a correlation between race and success, some African Americans have sought to rectify the situation.
Some African American individuals resort to skin lightening and hair treatments to mask any resemblances of their race. Skin lightening is the practice, in cosmetics, of inducing a chemical change in a skin's natural pigment to achieve a lighter tone. Nikita Gupta asserts that "many women bleach because of the prospect of gaining higher status --and, with the privileges afforded to those with lighter skin, who can blame them? Among Black women in the U.S., lighter skin predicts higher educational achievement and earnings'' (Gupta 8). Additionally, hair treatments have also become a seemingly integral part of African American life, especially for women. The popularity of keratin-hair treatments have gone up over the years since some African Americans not only want lighter skin, but some wish to achieve more straight hair to attain a look that's more "acceptable" and more "white." Arlene McKanic makes note that "we're still hung up on our hair, and we'd probably be hung up on it without the scourge of racism and its deformed, misbegotten child, colorism." It is not as much about skincare or a new hairdo in a much broader scope as it is about the issue in an evident attempt to erase one's race among the African American community. It is like trying to wipe an ineffaceable smudge from a mirror of truth. In any case, McKanic breathed air into this issue that a black individual's identity may be malleable due to colorism (McKanic).
In brief, colorism is systematic, just like racism. One who rejects another's irrevocable and scientific identity calls for appeasement through unfeasible means. If your skin is too dark, then bleach it, but if you look too white, then you are a poser. If your hair is as matted and as untamable as a jungle, ladies, then straighten it until you look like one of the models you see on the cover of People magazine. This is the problem. Conforming to standards based on the eradication of one's birth-given trait is impossible. The lack of black representation is replaced by self-hate and shades of shame that go from "respectively" light to "disappointedly" dark. But why? As Malcolm X well-asked, "Who taught you to hate your kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don't want to be around each other … you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God gave you?' (Matthews and Johnson).
Annotated Bibliography
"Colorism is White Supremacy's Favorite Tool Colorism is White Supremacy's Favorite Tool." University Wire,
Accessed Sep 07, 2015.
This source provided an integration of pop culture into colorism among the African American community. This matters because it strengthens the argument that colorism is an insidious cancer that seeps into African American societies relative to social media, television and news.
Greenidge, Kaitlyn. “Why Black People Discriminate among Ourselves: The Toxic Legacy of
Colorism.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 9 Apr. 2019, Accessed 24, 2020.
This source provided the perspective of an African American female who discusses colorism to her. She presents her knowledge and encounter with colorism through the point of view of her household that was filled with love, and support, and an embrace of all skin color. Although there was still a recognition of skin tone differences in her family, it did not play a toxic and detrimental role in her life.
Hannon, Lance, and Robert DeFina. "When Whites are Guilty of Colorism: African Americans
Still Face 'Colorism' Based on their Skin Tone." The Washington Post, Accessed Nov 08, 2014.
This source provided a recap of colorism as a social concept and discussed the difference between whites and blacks distinguishing skin tone. The most important point made in this source was that both blacks and whites are responsible for engaging in colorism, however, white individuals have a more skewed preference of skin tone due to the fact that they are not a part of the community themselves.
Jeffries, A.yoni. “Mental Health Effects of Colorism in the Black Community.” MindPath Care
Centers, 8 July 2020, Accessed Oct 21, 2020.
The source holds a lot of surprising information. This source displays detrimental African-American societal concepts that branch from colorism; such as the brown paper bag test and the doll test. These tests demonstrate legitimate practices of unjust preferences and discrimination that takes place in the African-American community.
"Unfairandlovely: The Fight Against Colorism Unfairandlovely: The Fight Against Colorism."
University Wire, Accessed Mar 21, 2016. ProQuest.
This article does not address the African-American community, but it does affirm the existence of colorism in minority communities regardless of their culture. For instance, the article assessed colorism among Hindu women which was frowned upon partially because of Hindu mythology which portrayed goddesses as more ethereal and beautiful with their dark complexion.
How Does Colorism Affect African American Youth?
Lesson Plan
Objectives:
Display a visual act of colorism to the audience.
Develop an understanding of how colorism manifests.
Articulate the ways in which colorism affects African American Students through conducted studies.
Perform a small experiment to insert bias.
Theorize the solution to this ailment.
Lesson:
What does colorism look like? (Hook); Source: (Gray) - 5 mins.
Show a short clip from School Daze (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xo6cSVeGLqo)
Those individuals from the film are students. African American students juxtaposed against one another on the basis of their skin color.
Some dark, some light, but they all internalize the same ideals that have been imposed upon them.
Give the definition of colorism
In society skin arranges itself from light to dark
The cause?
Internalized racism
racial and ethnic groups of color adopt the beliefs of "White superiority"
A Look Into Colorism In The African American Society (Introduction); Source: (Foster-Scott) - 1 min
Colorism is recognized at an early age
Early internalized self-hatred
Internalized hatred for having a darker complexion, bigger nose, lighter family members etc.
Colorism is inculcated into the minds of young children at an early age.
As African American children grow, they are taught that skin color should be associated with success.
Over time, colorism in schools became more apparent following a lack of admission of black students in all black colleges
Research studies showed apparent signs of early bias that kids display through highly interactive surveys (Jefferies).
Video of Doll and Paper Bag Test (Video)- 5 mins
Explain the concentration of the videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alP5msKFX2Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRZPw-9sJtQ
After the video open a brief discussion of the content
Ask the students to determine how something like systematic racism is bad
Questions to consider:
How does the paper bag test deteriorate racial identity?
Does the doll test video clearly exemplify systematic racism?
Conduct and Hair Test (Experiment)- 3 mins
Explain to the class that they can get into an elite club of young scholars
There only one requirement, you must have brown hair
Walk around the room
Hold up paper to hair and divide up the room
Show how bias in schools can be based on something as hateful as racism but as much of a trifle as a piece of paper.
Explanation:
What if I told you there was an elite organization specializing in distributing free money to students? Would you be interested? If so, what if I told you there was only one requirement for entry? It’s very simple, and only takes one second to determine, you must have brown hair. If you got that, THEN YOU’RE IN!
Let’s do a little test. :)
Step Further Into The Life of A Black Student (Lecture); Source: (Gray)- 2 mins
In The Classroom:
Microaggression and restricted opportunities exist among faculty and staff towards particular students in some education departments
Perceived inferiority on the basis of skin color calls for unfair distribution of treatment and even grades.
In Sports:
There are sports stereotypes
particular assumptions of athleticism over academic achievement
For example, the large and well-built Black male student who plays basketball may only ever be perceived as successful in the athletic realm and never the academic.
In The School’s Community:
White colorism exists on campus where discrimination based on skin lightness are a day-to-day behavior.
Dark-skinned black students feeling inferior and targeted in the discipline department
Prevents opportunities
Discourages success
Normalized failure and poor behavior
To be painted as a villain, only means to become the painting itself soon enough (Gray).
Parting Words of Malcolm X (Conclusion); Source: (Matthews and Johnson) - 1 min
“you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God gave you”
There must be love and representation
Materials:
Construction paper
Projector
Videos
Volunteers
Annotated Bibliography
Abiola, Ufuoma. The Monolith Myth and Myriad Manifestations of Melanin: Skin Tone Bias/Colorism
and Black Ivy League Undergraduates. Order No. 10687381 University of Pennsylvania, 2017
Ann ArborProQuest. 13 Jan. 2021.
This source provided a tremendous amount of investigation in bia/colorism as a form of discrimination in the African American comminty in a college environment. The investigation focuses around assessing the effects of colorism on African American college students through personal accounts, surveys and questions.
Forster-Scott, Latisha. "Understanding Colorism and how it Relates to Sport and Physical Education."
Journal of Physical Education, Recreation & Dance 82.2 (2011): 48-52. ProQuest. 13 Jan. 2021.
This source provided a look into the lives of African American athletes who face challenges with, not only colorism, but stereotypes. This source makes the great point that biological differences in physique, skin color and hair all contribute to the stereotypical placement of African American athletes.
Gray, Brittany C. D. Navigating Colorism on Campus: The Experiences of Black, Black Biracial, and
Black Multiracial Women in College. Order No. 10254708 California State University, Long
Beach, 2017 Ann ArborProQuest. 13 Jan. 2021, Accessed 13, 2021.
This source provided insight into the world of black women who had to navigate their way through colorism in college. This provides more personal accounts of firsthand experiences with colorism; moreover, colorism in a school environment.
Keith, Verna M., and Carla R. Monroe. "Histories of Colorism and Implications for Education." Theory
into Practice 55.1 (2016): 4. ProQuest. 13 Jan. 2021.
This source presents the consideration of how olorist ideologies and practices unsettle arguments that celebrate racial gains in education, particularly as related to divides that have narrowed since the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 1960s. Most importantly, this source serves to claim that due to past discrimination, there is a lack of representation in the education department for minortiy groups.
"Race and Colorism in Education." The Journal of Pan African Studies (Online) 11.5 (2018): 125.
ProQuest. 13 Jan. 2021, Accessed 13, 2021.
The purpose of this source, in whole, was to illustrate the role that racism and colorism play in school environments. Once again, there is an assessment of the disadvantages and unfair treatment displayed in a school environment that is finally being addressed.
How Can We Combat Colorism?
Documentary Film
Overview: The focus of this documentary film was to have an open discussion about first what colorism in the African American community is, and then what steps could be taken to fix the issue. The documentary film is loosely structured by an open conversation held with the Wakefield School headmaster, Ashley Harper who provides insight and opinions on systematic racism and skin-tone disassociation in the school system. In a wider look, colorism circles around the issue of early formations of groupings and tribalism which called for societies to drift into hierarchical structures based on qualitative-physical attributes; such as skin tone and race. As Mrs. Harper and I agreed in the film, education is the first and most crucial target point when looking to ameliorate the color issue in the African American community.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6_1rxCWS2g
Annotated Bibliography:
Brice, Priscilla. “A Solution To Racism.” All Together Now, Accessed 28, 2021.
This source also provided a considerable solution to racism. Once again, as colorism is closely tied to racism, we can take the two as one of the same issues which could possibly be amended with the same solution.
Landor, Antoinette M., and Shardé McNeil Smith. “Skin-Tone Trauma: Historical and Contemporary
Influences on the Health and Interpersonal Outcomes of African Americans.” Perspectives on
Psychological Science, vol. 14, no. 5, Sept. 2019, Accessed 28, 2021 pp. 797–815,
doi:10.1177/1745691619851781.
This source provided psychological information based on colorism. The author of this article proposed mental health issues that African Americans obtained from deeply-rooted racism.
Rice-Missouri , Sheena. “4 Ways to Support People Dealing with Colorism.” Futurity, 17 Oct. 2019,
Accessed 28, 2021.
This source provided insight for an individual who possibly didn't understand, nor experience colorism, but supported the idea of combatting it. This source gives suggestions of how to go about providing support and aid to people who suffer from skin discrimination.
Roberts, Steven O., et al. “Racial Inequality in Psychological Research: Trends of the Past and
Recommendations for the Future.” Perspectives on Psychological Science, vol. 15, no. 6, Nov.
2020, Accessed 28, 2021.
This source provides two individual aspects of colorism and racism. First, it provides backstory and an assessment of colorism and racism in its entirety, then it provides a strategy of the plan of how to fix this ailment in the future.
Sprague , Alicia. “Kindness Is Not The Solution to Racism: Office of the Vice President for Diversity:
Colorado State University.” Kindness Is Not The Solution to Racism | Office of the Vice President
for Diversity | Colorado State University, 14 Aug. 2020, Accessed 28, 2021.
This source provided a possible solution to racism. In order to find a solution to colorism, it is important to recognize that racism and colorism are closely connected, so it would be fine to consider one solution for both ailments.
What Is Colorism To Alaska Green?
Short Story
July 8th, 1952:
Feet in the green grass. Feet in the green grass of a green field. Feet in the grass of a green field under the omnipresent sun and the big blue sky. I want to be a writer one day. Be one of dem big shots with their picture on their books and stuff. Bet the world wouldn’t like a writer like me huh, papa.
I always thought the sky was so big n’ wide, and I always wished my eyes were bluer than the sky. Momma said brown eyes are soft like the cool and calm dirt, but blue eyes are as deep and as unforgiving as the sea. But I don’t care. I’d be deeply unforgivin’ if I had eyes as deep and as blue as the sea.
I got skin as dark as the molasses momma licks off her finger when she ain’t gon anything else sweet to eat. I got eyes as dark and as brown as the mud along that ol’ creek behind the house. Momma says, “ you’re a beautiful child, and don’t you forget it!” Momma’s a liar. Momma’s as light as butterscotch and as thin as rice. Momma has pink lips, and soft eyes, and rosy cheeks, and long curly hair. I don’t know how she got me. Momma said a stork flew me down from heaven and blessed her, but it ain’ ever been a blessing to be as dark and as nappy-headed as me.
I hate being dark. I’m always going to hate being dark. When I go to school dem light girls stare at me like I got snakes running loose in my head. I know when they look at the ash on my skin, the knots under the ribbons in my hair, the hole in my skirt, and the cakey feminine fixins on my face they judge me. They don’t got makeup for girls dark like me. They don’t sell nice skirts to girls that don’t look light and white like ‘em models on their posters. They don’t got any nice ribbons for hair like mine because they wouldn’t know how to tie or braid or straighten hair like mine even if they tried. And that sure is the devil’s work making my hair blow up like static during the summer in Jackson, Mississippi. I don't let them girls get to me though, papa because I’m going to be big one day. One of ‘em big shots authors with books that sell quicker than that fried okra you and momma used to eat on Sundays.
With love,
Alaska Green
September 1st, 1952:
My summer was nice papa. I went to the markets with momma every day until we found that okra that you used to get from ol’ Jim’s place on main street. Momma took me home after we found and told me she’d make it nice and crispy, just how you two used to like it. She misses you, you know? She don’t talk to them other men from church or from bible study that be staring. She’s one of them rare beauties in town that make the men turn and stare. That skin as light and sweet as caramel candies, them lips as pink and full as a georgia peach, and them damn eyes that could stop a man’s heart with one glace. Sometimes I think momma forgets that she’s beautiful. She thinks you packed her beauty and heart in some luggage and took it with you when you walked out that door to go to war. No man sits in your seat at the table, and I don’t think any other man ever will. I just want you to come home. We want you to come home papa. I ain’ turning sixteen without you to sing happy birthday all deep and silly. You got twenty more days papa, my birthday is September 21st.
Much love papa,
Alaska Green
September 21st, 1952:
Well damn, I ain’ think you’d actually do it. Miss your little girl’s birthday. You ain’ been responding to my letters, so I guess I’m just a big old clown. I’m just missing the bright red nose. Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Niece came up, and so did momma’s parents. They asked about you. Asked if you ever write back. Asked if you is even alive. I tell ‘em “yea,” and that you is doing just fine. But Momma knows, and I know that after six years it’s probably good and right to say that you just died. Momma made okra and mud pie. They were good. Momma said that I should be getting nice and fat to fit ‘em clothes she bought me for my birthday, but no boy wants a sixteen year old dark girl with more ass than beauty.
I know I ain’ one of them girls on the magazines, but gee would I like to be. Momma is still beautiful as she was when I was little. She wore that white dress with the little purple flowers on them, and boy did she look good. Every curve and stitch to that dress melted like butter against momma’s thin body. No dark girl, no fat girl, and no short girl could look good in a dress like that. But momma, she looked like the queen of England, waving and smiling and laughing like she don’t know that she’s been cursed with a daughter that took none of that beauty along with her.
I ain’ mad at you papa. I just wish you weren’t dead, or whatever it is that you are. If I can’t be beautiful, I’d at least like to have my momma and papa with me on my sixteenth birthday to make me feel loved. Because who needs any beauty when you got love at every door, right?
See you,
Alaska Green
June 12th, 1954:
I know I ain’ written in a while, but I don’t like ghosts. You know this. I ain’ mad at you for leaving, but you left. And I ain't mad at you for dying, but you died. I graduated the same day the military sent them big men in green with your uniform all neat and folded like you ain’ ever worn them. Momma forgot I graduated after that. I forgot I did too. The whole neighborhood stepped outside when momma screamed. She was kicking and hollering at them men like the sky itself was falling; kicking so hard that her pins and ties fell loose from her freshly pressed hair and stared frizzing in the rain like hell on earth. Rain ain’ ever felt so cold. You know it rained the same day we found out you died, right? Downright awful.
Today I graduated, and tomorrow I gotta bury a coffin with momma that you ain’ even in. It’s just bullshit. You know I got into Rust College. Same college you told me you wanted to go to before you enlisted instead. I did it for you and momma. They say they got rules for dark people like me, but I don’t care. They can bring all the bags and dolls they want, and put them against my skin, but I wouldn’t care. I don’t want to be one of ‘em, light girls, I used to see in the hallways anymore. They ain’ happy like you and me is. People judge ‘em, almost as much as they judge me. They just like momma, light and beautiful, but still black. Being light can get you far, but getting far don’t mean anything if it’s the color of your skin that’s doing the work. I could be the darkest girl in the world, and it wouldn’t matter as long as you and momma were proud of me. Pricicipal Hudley told me, “it’s not what you do in life that matters, it’s who you become in the process,” and papa I want to be a writer. I wanna write about you and about momma and about us before the storm of the devil brushed over our heads. I’ll leave okra by your grave every once n’ awhile, and maybe even some of momma’s lemonade if she’s every strong enough to come with me. She ain’ glass pa, but she ain’ stone either. It’ll take some time, but time is all we got at the end of the day until it’s up.
Love you,
Alaska Green
Light Is Never Light Enough
By: Alaska Green
Preface:
Feet in the green grass. Feet in the green grass of a green field. Feet in the grass of a green field under the omnipresent sun and the big blue sky. My feet in the green grass of this big green world, and what footprints have I left behind? I used to wish that my eyes were blue like the sea, and my hair was as straight and yellow as an ear of corn, and my skin was as light and white as snow. Today, let me tell you, I can’t believe I ever felt that way. My skin as deep and as warm as cocoa, my eyes as dark and mysterious as the night sky that I reach for as night, and my hair as full and as textured as the grass I sink my feet into on this field of the world that knows no color and no shade.
To the earth, there is no light, there is no dark, there is no white, and there is no black. It took me getting out of my little town and going to Rust College to realize that the world has been broken longer than I have been alive. I told my father that I would be a writer one day. Write my own story, and then the story of my ma and pa as they were and as my mother still is. My father passed in 1954, and my mother danced humbly behind him to her grave in 1979. They are buried together now, and it’s no longer about race, shade, or color for them. God rest their souls. I dedicate all I am to them.
I don’t believe there ever was a time where I didn’t think my momma was beautiful and my papa wasn’t brave. The two of them got married and had me quicker than I can flip a pancake in a skillet. They loved each other hard when love was scarce in the world. My mother dealt with a malicious world view of her biracial parents as abominable. I wasn’t always a well-spoken girl. “Yes ma’am, no sir, thank you” were not formalities I grew familiar with at a young age. Being dark-skinned and less than well-educated in the area I grew up in made it difficult to love myself and those who looked like me.
I remember how I would resent my mother, a beautiful light-skinned goddess, for giving me life but none of her physical attributes. How could a child resent their mother for not making them fair-skinned? I still wonder about that myself today. A world designed so vengeful and so cruelly as to turn a daughter against her own mother. The woman whom she was birthed by. The woman whom she was nurtured by. The woman who she was cherished by became resented for not bestowing a shade of which her daughter could call her own beautiful lightness. I’m a dark girl, raised by my light-skinned mother, strengthened by the absence of my dark-skinned father, and nourished by the melanin love of my great ancestors; for they truly knew now shade too dark, nor too light.
You see now, there is something you have to understand about the world we live in and tribalism. Tribalism is an early societal structuring of groups that have been with us longer than any book ever written, or any word ever spoken. Tribalism feeds off the idea that people must fall into hierarchical categories. This idea of categorizing falls into many realism of classification whether it be geographical or physiological. Unfortunately, in this day and age, the classification of tribes and groupings falls into the realm of color and shade.
All my life, my dark skin has felt like some ineffaceable burden that I have been cursed with. That was until I heard of Malcolm X for the first time. That black activist with crisp suits and words like thunder amazed me. I felt like it was me who he was asking personally, “who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin to such an extent that you bleach to get like the white man?... Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other … you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God gave you” His words coursed through me like liquid gold, and it broke my heart when he died. I was only twenty-nine when the only thing left behind after his assassination was his powerful words. My papa was powerful in some of those same ways. It’s always the men who stand the tallest that get cut down by the cruelty of the world. After I found out my father died, I promised him and myself that I would never torn down by anyone.
I am a dark-skinned girl. Kissed by the sun. Blessed by my melanin ancestors. I like my okra fried deep, and extra crispy. I’m from Jackson, Mississippi. When I was a little girl, the thing I wanted more than anything in this world was to become a successful writer for my parents. My momma couldn’t afford college, and my papa enlisted before he could realize he liked to pick up a book rather than I gun. I was the first in the family to go to college. I didn’t hit the ground running when I did. I was dumbfounded, poorly-read, impatient, and utterly uneducated. Dark-skinned blacks after gifted good education without relentless effort. It was even harder fighting for my education as a dark-skinned black girl, but I did. I prevailed, I succeeded, and I got my major in journalism.
“A writer, I told my papa in a letter, “I want to be a writer.” And so I did. I worked at a small black editorial until I gained enough traction and support to immerse myself in the most important story of all, my story. I could write about a number of things. God knows I love to write more than I love to talk. But people shouldn’t just hear about my mother’s fried okra, or my first boyfriend, or the day I graduated from Rust College. People need to listen, and to picture the reality of being a dark-skinned black girl in Mississipi, and better yet in a world that lives by the color of someone’s skin rather than the content of someone’s character. My name is Alaska Green, and this is my story. I love you Ma and Pa.
